For the Guy with kids and a WW 6

[hopeful4her]

In our conversations, I have told her to end things with him. I don't say it every single time we talk. I have told her, though. Several times.

The first time was me telling her months ago. She just started work again around February. I told her that having a boyfriend disrespect me, herself, our children and God. She agreed. That was all I got. "I agree."

The next time was the first time the D word came out of her. She told me that SHE would initiate the divorce if I wouldn't. I told her very calmly, "Go ahead. You are going to lose everything." She said a few choice things to me, got up and called OM. She told him she was never going to call him again, to never call her again. She told him, "I am telling this to you in front of Roger." I could hear him "What?! Why?! Why do I deserve this?!" She told him, "I don't want to lose my kids."
It didn't last long. He called her and called her. I could see she broke down and called him that next evening on her way home.

One time was just a stare then changing it back something else.

The first time that she responded with a "Don't worry, I am! I don't need ANY man!" was the time on a Sunday just before church. She was staying home and was upset that D6 wanted her to go to church. She kept asking D6 if I had told her something the day before, because she kept looking at me. Thats the day after she spent doing what she wanted, supposedly alone. Shopping. We were at the door and me telling her to do the right thing and end it with him. She told me angrily.

The next time me telling her was us at home when we were back from her being in the hospital in Laredo a few weeks ago. In our bedroom, me telling her again to do the right thing. Her telling me the same thing. "I don't need to be with anybody. I will be on my own. I am." I told her that she had gotten herself into the mess. She said, "Don't worry. I'm getting out of it!" Again, her telling me in anger.

Then this last time. The Sunday before last. When she said she knew what she had to do. She just didn't know how to do it. She told me this pretty calmly. First time.

There were other times. Our talk when I saw them together at the restraunt. She told me about hurting him. That he was just as persistant as me. She also told me that he has offered to end things with her and she continued it. So she says.

To me it sounds more like she is just saying what I want to hear. But I know she knows it is wrong. It just feels so right, though. Like wdid said, really not wanting to hurt him. Puke.


So, are guys saying that I need to continue talking to her?

I guess that was my plan. Keep trying to initiate conversation up until the end. It was hard taking the venom.

I am tired of her flip flopping towards me. I do love her. I do want her to stay. But I can't beg her. I won't beg her anymore. She just can't seem to give up OM. If that is the case, then I don't want her. The more I think about them together, makes me sick.

I know ya'll see the confusion in her. Think how I feel.

In my small mind, here is how I envision the talk about me TELLING her to end it with OM and calling her on it.

"I want you to end things with OM. You know it is the right thing to do."

"I know what I need to do. I just don't know how to do it."

"I want to help you if you'll let me."

"I know I should end it, but I just can't seem to get myself to do it. I love him. We were meant for each other. I am not leaving you for him. I just don't want to be married anymore. I'm not in love with you. I don't need any man. Our marriage is not fixable."

"Just end it with him. When you do, I want you to REALLY end it with him. No contact at all. None. No talking on the phone. No lunches just as friends. No emails. No texts. You need to let me look at you phone and I'll be checking the phone bill. I want you to give me access to you secret phone, too. I will check that bill, too. If you DO have contact with him, just tell me. Don't hide it. If I find out on my own, then we are done."

"Your F'ing F'ed in the head! We're done anyway, stupid!"

That is what I envision.

The way it comes across, it is me trying to help rescue her from herself. I have nothing to stand on to try to get her to end it. She has no inclination to work on our marriage nor our relationship. Still. That is what I got from her on Friday. She same stuff she has said before.

But should I believe her?