WOHOOOO.. good for you! Spend it on yoursellf!! But I know you won't... it will go to that sweet baby of yours
He will lose his job, there is just so much an employer will take with tardiness... you would think that He would just"get it together" especially with everything going on!
That's great the kids are spending time with them... they need as much loving family around them as possible.
~now I need to win some money~
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Congrats on your win. I never win at the Casinos. Mostly now I just go along for the ride and then go shop. I figure if I'm going to lose money, I might as well have something to show for it.
I read what you wrote about your H. Wow, he does sound depressed. Hopefully for your sake and also for the kids, I sure hope that he at least gets his work sh@t together. The last thing you need is him out of work, especially when your trying to come up with negotiating support payments.
You sound like a very strong cookie. I'm impressed!
Hi lwb - I know that in the beginning my stbx was very supportive and wanted to "help" me find a new place, etc. According to stbx, ow was ok with him helping me with anything I needed. Obviously, that has changed. I guess what I'm saying is don't be too surprised if his tune changes mid-D.. I hope it doesn't and don't want to be the voice of doom and gloom.. I just saw it happen in my sitch when I needed/started to push back on some D details.
I watch in wonder at your relationship with your spouse... his responsible irresponsibility. He loves you and the girls, but doesn't want the marriage. Has the job but not the punctuality. Looking for his own home but wants you to help him with it.
Have you thought of giving yourself a little space during all this.. a little time to decompress? I mean.. you don't want to look too relieved when the D goes through. (joking)
A divorced friend of mine told me to kiss spouse's patookie until everything was done. At first I was offended, but now I wonder about the truth in that statement.
Minimizing waves until things are final is a good idea. You don't want to make the process any more complicated than is necessary. It is easy for someone with even a little desire, to make the process longer and more painful.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I'm so glad to hear that your H is being good to you. I thought about you the past few days. As you told me, don't be surprised when the lashing out starts. I kept that in the back of my mind, hoping it wouldn't happen. Well, it has. I know you went through it too. I only hope that my H comes around again and is civil to me, as yours has become.
Just spend a couple of bucks of that money you won on yourself, okay! Even just for a yummy smoothie or something! Treat lwb! She deserves it.
Hope you and the D's are doing well. You all deserve big hugs!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
lovely, thanks for the warning. I am trying to keep the peace. Luckily I don't have a 'specific' OW to contend with right now, there is no one 'hurrying' H along. I feel for you.
Gypsy, one of my closest friends constantly berates me for treating H so well, can't believe I do what I do for him, etc. I just let her talk and say that I am doing what I feel is right. My other close friend (the one that is going through this) totally understands.
And yes, Gypsy, my H wants me in SO many ways, just not as his wife anymore.
Sue and g, thanks for stopping by. Sue, I hit your thread...
Journaling:
Spent the morning at the park with my neighbor and his kids. Spur of the moment invitation, and it was nice. Then, as promised, I took the ladies to get a 'pedicure'. They always get SO mad when I come home with pretty toes, so I took them today. They loved it. My future divas.
H asked me to do something again this week. We just had dinner and drinks last Thursday and he wants to do something again this week. I asked SallyM today "Am I dating my husband and don't realize it?" lol She told me to ask him, but I told her he would say no. I think he is doing it to keep the peace. Its fine, I'll go. I have fun. I have no expectations, other than to have a few drinks and yummy dinner.
lwb, you are extraordinary. How do you compartmentalize your feelings of love for your husband and his lack of desire to be married? Are you able to deal with him with such civility due to the passage of time? Because you have your daughters' needs for a daddy as your first priority? You inspire me.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
