I was with my mother through her cancer and decline. We also used hospice, but it was free (they coordinated with her insurance, and didn't charge the co-pays). Not sure how it works in FL. They were outstanding. One of the things that I respected mom for, was she asked all her friends and family to visit her while she was alive--come and spend a couple of days, talk about old times, laugh, etc. She said, what use is it to come after I am gone? She didn't want a service at all, shopped around for the lowest prices on everything (I think she even found some weird coupon for the cremation!). I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi Donna, I have a very good friend that had open heart surgery a few years ago and she asked me to help her plan her funeral. Fortunately, she's still alive and well but we sure had a blast planning her demise. So many peeps wanted some of her ashes that I suggestsed we start decorating baby food jars and after she was gone, I'd divide her up and pass the jars along to her loved ones. I have little scraps of paper stashed away of things she wants me to say at her funeral, etc. The only thing we haven't done is pick out her outfit for the viewing and I keep nagging her to go shopping!!!!
Seriously, I know it sounds morbid but humor is how she best deals with things.
I told my mom that she needed to keep my Dad engaged as much as possible as he perks up whenever there's people around. So she's still inviting people over for dessert, etc.
She's also started going to the bedroom whenever he decides to take a nap (which is often) and talks to him about fun things they've done together, trips they've taken, etc.
Your Mom sounds like she was a wonderful person and had a great attitude. I'm sure you must miss her very much.
Update on my Dad. He's now confined to a wheelchair and hospital bed but is still at home. He can barely speak above a whisper and tires easily if he has to talk much. My sister (who is now at their house) says that he's having occasional hallucinations. He's not in much pain which is the only good thing right now.
I sooo appreciate all your prayers and thoughts. This is really hard to deal with and there's times when I'm not dealing very well.
I went through the same with my dad, he was at home till the very end and mom and I were both there at his side when he died. I think you're dealing with things just fine.
ALL
"Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"
My dad had hallicunations too Jill. Has to be the medication, but the hallucinations were our childhoods. Hospice was awesome for us and it was free. Since then, that's the charity of my choice. They're godsends.
You have a right to have times when you're not dealing so well. You'll make up for it.
Thanks, everyone. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support. BIG HUGS ((((everyone)))).
My Dad will probably be in a hospice facility by the end of the week. I know he doesn't want to go there but we're all trying to convince my Mom that it's where he'll get the best care. He's completely bed ridden now, eats very little, is hallucinating, does not seem to be in pain, weak, etc. I'm so grateful that my sis and BIL are there. I've decided not to go until he's gone. Then, I will stay with my mom for however long is necessary to help her adjust.
I hate not being there now but there's nothing I can do that isn't being done.
I will miss him so much. He was the best thing that ever happened to our family.
I have little scraps of paper stashed away of things she wants me to say at her funeral, etc. The only thing we haven't done is pick out her outfit for the viewing and I keep nagging her to go shopping!!!!