Hope you're having a good day today. Personally, I think I'd need to set a boundary with H, at least that OW is not allowed to be in/stay at, your home. I can't imagine how awful it must be to think of her being in your place, but in my sitch, I try to not think of the OW at all if I can possibly help it!
I think there are some success stories where people have set boundaries and not seen any harm come to their situation. as you say, it's a line between prtecting yourself and allowing the MLC to continue, but I think if it bothers you that she's been to your house, you do need to protect yourself first!
