Been a busy few days; been keeping up with others, and not a lot to say about my sitch. I'm feeling pretty okay; more moments of finding myself feeling comfortable in my own skin. I like that.
H appears to have some new drama going on with OW... if I have time tonight i may post a little on it to get some insights on things. He was a mess yesterday; prompted me to do a little snooping and i pieced together a likely scenario.
Dear S18 and I had a very brief convo yesterday (i took him out to practice driving manual transmission yesterday am); I just asked him if his dad had said anything more to him about things other than the night he first slept 'away'... S18 said no; I just told him that if he ever wanted to talk about things that i was here, even though i didn't really know what was going to happen either. S18 said to me "of course, i'm on your side..." I jumped right in (i probably should have let him talk a little more...) and said that I wanted him to understand that while this wasn't what I wanted, and that I was sad that H was wanting to live a different life, that S understand that I, too, had contributed to problems in our M, not at all that I was blameless. I just wished that his dad would be willing to work to make things right.
I specifically did not say anything about H's A or OW (i have no clue if S18 has an idea, or if he realizes who it is...) We also talked a little about the fact that S12 doesn't know yet, and that it would be hard on him if/when that time comes...
But I must say, it felt very good to at least make a statement to S18 and have him be so kind and supportive...he's been more openly affectionate with me recently, too. That's worth so much...
