The nature of their R will make them suspicious in the first place, this is just a gentle nudge in that direction.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I think that your H's relationship with OW has a time bomb on it. I wonder how your STBXH will like the constant nagging, the desire for assurances, the endless suspiscion, the lack of trust.
It seems like they both have issues with infidelity.
I'm guessing what makes her attractive is her passion, wear-her-heart on her sleeve non-chalance, and her apparent lack of remorse or guilt. If were talking about the madonna/whore complex, she falls on the naughty side of the equation. In some sense what I admire about WAS is their fearlessness.
I think settling into domesticity will dampen the fires love and turn what was once a passionate affair into an infernal nighmare.
Heck -- you want a little fun, go-ahead. Wear lots of perfume, and lipstick. When he's heading off for the weekend with her, give him a hug and a small peck on the cheek, with some of you lipstick getting on his collar. As you do it tell him "You know, for our daughter's sake I want us to be friends, and I'm sure we'll both be OK once the divorce is final and I want nothing but your happiness." Or some such nonsense. It'll screw with his mind -- he'll be thinking of you while he's with her. And....she might smell the perfume and see the lipstick. Either way, the wonderful weekend will probably have some fly in the ointment.
Hehehehehe.
Only do this if you are 100% sure you are moving forward with the D. Then the screwing wih them will just be cherry on the ice-cream.
Anything subtle that creates suspicion is good. Also, don't feel bad or guilty about this. You are just providing them with some challenges to help them determine if their relationship can make it through rougher waters. You are doing them a favor!!! So definitely be a good person and help out!!!
How's that for twisting logic!!!? Hee hee!!!
One thing I've mentioned before... warm and friendly text messages when they are together... and throw in a sexy one!!! like "When are you cumming home?" Send that one this weekend. Let us know the response...
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Love Theo's suggestion. Yes, you are being a good person by wishing him happiness and give him a peck on the cheek. Get dressed and all ready to go out and act like you are in a hurry to get him out of the house (so you can get out too kind of look). If they want to think that they are a couple now, let them think that way and you be the single, hot gal.
Let's just say that I have found out through highly confidential yet trustworthy sources that ow is feeling a bit unsettled by the time that stbx spends at "my" house... with his child... I just happen to be there but she must be thinking something else.. hahaha (evil laugh)!
Isn't it amusing that these OP got themselves into these situations with our H/W's and then have the audacity to expect them to be faithful to them? HUH? Honey, he wasn't faithful to me, thats where you come in, DUH!
People just never cease to amaze me.
BTW I love Theo's suggestion too. Its the little things in life, remember? Just do one or even two of these things and you will feel so much better. Everytime you see H you will just giggle to yourself because you are in on the secret...but they aren't! And if you get caught? Alls fair in love and war right?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Wow.. Ya'll are extremely creative in your evilness.. ha!
Ok.. ROOT.. you're on.. I'm going to think of a good text to send and will let you know what happens.
Originally Posted By: theoden
"You know, for our daughter's sake I want us to be friends, and I'm sure we'll both be OK once the divorce is final and I want nothing but your happiness." Or some such nonsense. It'll screw with his mind -- he'll be thinking of you while he's with her. And....she might smell the perfume and see the lipstick. Either way, the wonderful weekend will probably have some fly in the ointment.
Not sure I have it in me to be like that in person.. Maybe something to work on.. kind of like rehearsing for a play
Another observation - all along ow has been infiltrating my life, home, etc with her little antics.. Now that I've been pushing back and setting boundaries around "my" home and what is allowed here, stbx doesn't know what to do. Without realizing it, I guess I've been feeding ow's insecurities by making stbx "choose" who to side with.
