I have no doubt that in her heart she wants to end it. I also have no doubt that she doesn't know how. What she DOES need to do is to end it even though she doesn't know how. THere will be no great way to do this. It will be painful. She will need to have full transparency to you, h4h. Any time he contacts her in any way, she will be in pain. I agree with Puppy. You need to ask her to do this.
If she refuses you need to prepare what you will do. This half nice half anger thing is not working for either of you.
You love her. You want her. She doesn't know what she wants, but she knows she needs to end the OM. Make her do this. Keep her in the house for two months. Make sure she does not contact him. Then, the counseling begins, etc. What's a few more months staying with you and doing what she feels she has to do anyway? She cannot deny this. What's a few more months after being with you for years? This whole apt thing started up, yes. Be willing to pay for the apt vacant if need be.
She wants to try the "life with OM" out. There is no other reason for leaving.
