Well, since someone has bought up a past comment, there's one thing that struck me about that post...

You commented:
>>Funny thing is, H said last night that if I put him on equal ground as the OM, with no baggage of the past, he'd have more of a chance.<<

That's because your H is the guy who would have actually MARRIED you. OM doesn't want a wife. Why do you think he was interested in a married woman? He could have easily chosen someone single. And there are plenty of beautiful, smart, happy, single women out there. Most of the time someone chooses to hook up with a married person because they don't want to make a committment and are also enjoying the excitement of them being married. In fact, if you were single or divorced the dynamics of the relationship with OM would change significantly.

He may think he wants you because he's enjoying the chase and would like to "win," or *thinks* he would like to win.. but if you actually did leave your H there would be a huge, "Oh Sh!t" moment for him. And if he did ultimately hooked up and marry you it would be because he was either stuck in the momentum of the situation (a "I won" high), or felt bad about you going through with the divorce "for him" and he felt he "had to."

You aren't D or single. You cannot compare your H and the dynamics of that relationship to the current or recent relationship with OM. If you weren't married that relationship would have a very different dynaimics, but I'm sure that's difficult to imagine.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.