For the Guy with kids and a WW 6

[hopeful4her]

wdid, we usually start a conversation at the wrong time and place or we get interrupted by kids or something. I thought we would have an opportunity to talk at length the weekend before, when the kids went to grandma's, but she seemingly avoided being home. I do not cut off conversation. It is me that has to draw it out of her.

When we do have a conversation, I always tell her to end things with him. To do the right thing. She will angrily agree, and tell me that she intends to. Like the last conversation, she said she just didn't know how to do it.

That is what she SAYS. Doing it is something entirely different. I have to realize that she has no intention to end it. I believe she just lies to me.

I don't avoid conversation, opportunities to talk are hard to come by. I always tell her that I want to work on us, but she always says that we can't fix it or she just doesn't watn to be married anymore or something along those lines.

With me being angry this weekend, we were nice to each other. Just no friendly conversation. She would get me some coffee, a refill, try very light conversation with me. She knows and senses the disappointment I feel. She knows me.

We did a lot at the house yesterday. After family left, she started on laundry. I started on the lawn. I weedeated the back, then mowed. I moved to the front and finished mowing. I was getting the weedeater ready and D6 comes outside with a cold bottled water. "Break time, daddy. Here some cold water."

I know roomie sent her outside.

Later, I help a little inside. She is cleaning a lot of things in the house. Bathroom. Kitchen. Really cleaning.

She confuses me. We supposedly have only two more weeks to go. Then she is gone, right? I mean, she was scrubbing the shower doors.

Later, she tells me that she is going into town, pick up some groceries, grab some bottled water, and pick up S14.

Not sure where she is going to get the money. Probably another withdraw from OM account?

Before coming home, she calls me to let me know she is gassing up car and has picked up S14 and gotten the groceries. She will be home soon.

Why call me??

She is trying to draw me back in. I start on dinner, and she gets home. She is still trying to talk to me. Like testing me. I acknowledge what she tells me and answer. I don't continue the talk. I answer her nicely. Not being rude. We sit down for family dinner. The family. It's been a while. The only one missing this night is nephew. He is with his dad for a couple weeks. Roomie says prayer, "Thank you Lord for bringing us all back together." Pause. "Here at this table." Like she had to specify that.

The rest of the night went well. I tried to not be in the same room as her. I was in the bedroom watching tv, S14 on our computer online, D6 on bed with me, playing. Roomie comes in and brings a puppy and puts on bed with us. She is trying to interact.

She showers. I try to put little ones to bed. Roomie asks if I want to watch a movie with her. She asked while she was walking to bathroom. I was about to say ok, but I did not answer her. She was doing something with her hair, and talking to D6. D6 wants to sleep with us. I get into bed. I won't watch movie if she is going to watch. Roomie decides to go to bed too. Goodnights to D6 but not to each other.

This morning, I am up. I hit snooze but get up. I am ironing and alarm wakes up roomie. She gets up. She tells me good morning. I say good morning. I avoid and still quiet. I finish and go to kitchen to make my lunch. Roomie had already gotten all the lunch stuff out. The turkey, bread, mayo, fruit.

And one cheese slice.

Now roomie does not eat cheese on her sandwich. Never has. I know the cheese was taken out for my sandwich. Not sure if she intended to make our lunch and I beat her to it. Or her just thinking of me and taking stuff out for me. I make my own sandwich and leave the cheese where it was. When I finish, I go make our travel coffee. I decide to make hers too. She is trying in her way. I also make a fruit snack for her, too. I was making mine, too.

She also put on my perfume. She is being very nice, but in a way that she knows she did something wrong. Not pretending like nothing is wrong, just being nice.

I have to hold my ground, I think. Or I fall right back to where I always fall to. Me being the great guy, and giving her my best. Like always.

It has to be different. Protect my heart. She will know that I cannot be her friend. I don't have to tell her. She made the decision. Her Dr Jeckyll and Mr Hyde has gotten the best of her and I will treat her like she is only Mr Hyde now.

Protect myself. Protect my heart.