I'm on the fly now myself, but I will say this: the problem with relationship talks is that people in active affairs are full of lies and deceit, and they are fogged out, and do NOT have the best interests of their marriage or their families at heart at the moment (or anytime soon).
It's like negotiating with terrorists -- they don't play by the rules.
I suggest you lay out to her a small spreadsheet and cover e-mail detailing the financial reality of your situation, and let her chew on it for the next couple of weeks. As for "communication," be polite and civil, and anything do with the kids or the household logistics, but no more. You should NOT be her best friend right now, nor if she ends the marriage this way.
