Hey, na ~ I suppose some major backsliding was inevitable. Not like I'm perfect or anything. The 48-hour rule is one I'm going to have to really cling to, because patience is not one of my natural attributes
Things are getting more strained and awkward. All of us went to baseball game last night (unusual) and sitting beside my H, I didn't know whether to let my arm touch his or not, so I ended up trying to squeeze myself closer to the other side of the very narrow chair. We did manage a few bits of conversation that were okay.
Does he think I don't want him to touch me anymore? Do I want him to touch me? I'm just trying to pull back, to give him space, to let him know that I was serious when I said he could take whatever time he needs to think things through. Given our history though, it's dangerously close to the rejecting behaviour that contributed to this mess in the first place. Perhaps some more 'drive by' flirting from me will help.
I'm having moments when I just want to march up to him and tell him to get out, that I've had more than enough. If I can hang on to this feeling for an entire 48 hours, does that mean I should do it?
