feeling very low

[IRMAT]

I need help... I am having a very hard time this morning,it seems every monday I get like this,I had a long talk with god this morning and it was not a nice one... I am so scared to even ask for forgiveness after this morning.I hear he speaks to his people but he is not speaking to me or showing me that he is even listening or working on my behalf... how can a husband who has been a good daddy and husband just up and leave his family....where is all the love for your children that he proclaims to have.. please please I need some words of wisdom