Well, today is the day I guess my H and I are going to have some sort of "talk". MP53 - I never even thought it might be "the D" talk until you brought it up and now I think you are probably right. I am always misunderstanding where he is going and thinking with things, so I am now thinking you are probably right and he is wanting to finalize things. Don't know for sure, but believe me, I have been fretting about it. I have been praying and meditating and believe I will be fine, but does anyone know how I should respond if this is what he wants to discuss? I've read some of the other posts about it and I'm hoping I can: - not cry - say that if this is what he really wants and thinks will make him happy, I won't fight him - say that it is not what I want and that I am in the marriage for the long haul All stuff I got out of other posts. Does that sound like what you all think I should do, based on my sitch?
Me-48 H-48 Married 25years Sep 12/05 S-24, S-22, S-18, D-12 Dated for 9 months of S, not dating now http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1565826
Update - he's postponed until tomorrow night. We shall see - any thoughts??????
Me-48 H-48 Married 25years Sep 12/05 S-24, S-22, S-18, D-12 Dated for 9 months of S, not dating now http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1565826
Rusty, I think your list is fine. I know that you are scared of this talk, and particularly of him filing for divorce, but honestly, divorce is not the end unless you want it to be.
I would listen to what he has to say, validate his feelings, and yes, tell him that he should do this if he feels he needs to.
No big speeches about how you still love him, etc. Calm and cool as you can possibly be.
(((((Rusty))))) I'll try to be around tomorrow night if you need to post.
Married: 25 years Separated: 5 years Kids: 2, ages 21 and 24 Me: 53 H: 50
Thank MP53! I'm still praying and I read a really good book today, so I'll be okay. I'll post tomorrow.
Me-48 H-48 Married 25years Sep 12/05 S-24, S-22, S-18, D-12 Dated for 9 months of S, not dating now http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1565826
Okay - I'm getting really nervous about this talk tonight. I am really having a hard time controlling my emotions. I keep breathing deeply and thinking of all the reasons I should not want to fix this M. I'm going to go read some in my DR book and bible and see if that helps! I don't know why I am so scared!! I figured we would wait to do anything permanent until after our son's wedding, so why is this so scary??
Me-48 H-48 Married 25years Sep 12/05 S-24, S-22, S-18, D-12 Dated for 9 months of S, not dating now http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1565826
I think your list is perfect as well - keep your emotions in check and you will do fine - I know easier to say than do, but at least you have had time to prepare yourself for this talk and that should help.
I agree with MP53 - filing for a D is not necessarily the end.
Just read your post. Also something someone wrote on here...something like If this is what you want then I'll go along. We've had some good memories; just make sure this is what you want. Ending a marriage is a lot to give up.
But I liked the way the other person worded it better. See if someone here knows to what I'm referring.
