Looking for support from other WAS's

[Bridgestone]

Hi lost, glad to see you back here with such news.

I can now see myself going home eventually, although I think it will still be a little while before I am 100% comfortable with making that step. My biggest drawbacks right now are: 1) I'm scared that we will get stuck in our old rut once I return home;

That is a choice to stay stuck. You know better what the signs are now... pay attention to them so the road doesn't take you back to this point. MC can help you with this.

2) I worry about the lack of old feelings (passion, etc.) on my part (will it get better or won't it?)

I can't answer this one.. maybe SC can. My gut tells me to tell you, that you have to create the opportunties for those feelings to happen again and maybe this time they will be 'new' feelings.

and 3) Will I miss my new routine, new friends, and new "way of life" once I go back home?

probably... but there is no reason parts of your 'new' life can't be integrated into your 'new' life with H. There is no going back.. you're going forward, and those new routines, friends, way of life things need to be negotiated & compromised. Share your feelings about this with your H, ask for his understanding that missing the friends, routines, etc is not about NOT wanting to be with him, it's just is what it is.

How many of you have attended MC? What exactly goes on in a session? And what has been your experience with the costs (??)? Are there particular things we should be looking for in a counselor?

My experience with MC was not positive, neither H nor I were ina place where honest communication could happen in a safe manner either during or after a session. The counselor asks questions of both of you, getting both sides out in the room, helps guide you through better listening & talking points. In my case after about the 1st 2, our MC spent most of the next 4 doing IC with my H on his anger & the effect it had on the M. I think that is unusual though.

Cost-wise our insurance would pick up the cost of it(except for the $20 office visit) if we went to a clinic that is not part of my Employee Assistance program (EAP).. check with your employers, it is a very common benefit that is not widely publicized to employees, usually as gambling, drug or alcohol counseling, but in reality it is for ANY mental health or crisis issue and it's FREE!

I'd look for someone that makes you both comfortable in sharing deep feelings out loud in the room. Provides tools & techniques for improving the interaction you have with your H.
In my experience (& hearing of others on here) I came out of these sessions shaking, emotionally distraught, drained etc.

for me it's like I had all these hurts, frustrations, betrayals all covered up but they were rotting ... and the scars & scabs get picked off, the pus is allowed to drain out and you're left with the gapping wounds that can now heal a bit cleaner, but they hurt none the less.

I learned early on.. I couldn't go back to work after a MC session. Your milage may vary on that one & I hope some others weigh in with their experience, as mine was not a positive one as I'm reading about it!

Peace!