Good morning. I don't think there's anything wrong with your note (in fact, I think it was a good idea at this stage, for the reasons you mention). I just wouldn't recommend repeating it, and in fact I think you now need to pull back A LITTLE this next week, and not over-pursue.
I absolutely think she's thinking what a royal mess she's made of all of this. I think she realizes that she still has real feelings for you, and still loves you, and that her self-delusion and "re-writing of marital history" that she used to rationalize and get to that place in her own mind that made her affair morally OK was all just that -- self-delusion.
I think you should continue to "shine a light back toward the marriage" this week, and look-good/smell-good and all that, but -- emotionally -- pull back. No ILYs. Ramp up the GAL stuff.
I also still think that she's not going to make any sort of final decision to come back to you about an eventual re-confrontation on your part. I could be wrong, of course, and I DON'T recommend that yet . . . but I think it's coming.
