No doubt. It is confusing and frustrating. There is no question that we should have goals and place expectations on ourselves and work like heck to reach them. With your children, you are teaching them to have expectations for themselves. But when you want someone else to do something, you get into that tricky area. There is no doubt that you want to think positively about the moves your H is making, but you can't make his plan.
As for your plan, you do have one. You are working to create a better environment. Part of that of course is to identify and change any destructive habits you have. For instance, if you are a nag and that causes problems for you and your marriage, then you probably should expect yourself to fix that. What I am saying is you have plenty to expect from yourself.
Just a bit about expectations and children. Growing up with parents who had expectations for me was a real bee-otch. The thing is that their expectations were things they wanted and not always what I wanted. I mean when a kid says he would like to get into politics, telling him that actuaries make a lot of money really isn't helpful.
