Finally after 21 pages I locked. Lots of love out there, thanks everybody for trying to help me get through a difficult time, sadly the hard part will come some time this week.
I am sitting here with a ferret on my lap and S12 sitting beside me. Today is going to be a nice day. Lots of love in this house too.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Well, I am glad to see you have a fresh new thread, for even more support. You deserve it, as you are there for many others as well.
Peaches, wanted to say something to you. I sit with my friend (who is going through this as well, her stbx is marrying OW in about a month), and we both say we don't want to be that angry x-wife always bad-mouthing H, etc. I pray for the strength for all of us to be stronger and wiser and get past the anger properly to move on.
If anyone can do this it is you lwb. You are such a kind caring woman. You are keeping a good relationship with H and I know that will bode well for you know and in the future. The difference in our H's is that your H gets what he did and is sorry, mine doesn't have a clue.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
The difference in our H's is that your H gets what he did and is sorry, mine doesn't have a clue.
My H sees his affair was wrong, but in his eyes, still totally justifiable because I was failing our marriage. He still sees NO fault in what led us to being vulnerable to affairs in the first place. If he *is* truly sorry, he hasn't ever told me.
The peace we have is hard work, its easier to hate him, trust me. Even we talk about how far we've come in a year.
Thank you for your words, you are so wonderful yourself. I feel sorry for your H, passing up on the chance to have you in his life forever.
The difference in our H's is that your H gets what he did and is sorry, mine doesn't have a clue.
My H sees his affair was wrong, but in his eyes, still totally justifiable because I was failing our marriage. He still sees NO fault in what led us to being vulnerable to affairs in the first place. If he *is* truly sorry, he hasn't ever told me.
It is so sad that this is probably true in 90% of our cases.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
[My H sees his affair was wrong, but in his eyes, still totally justifiable because I was failing our marriage. He still sees NO fault in what led us to being vulnerable to affairs in the first place. If he *is* truly sorry, he hasn't ever told me.
I think my H thinks he was justified b/c of my depression or has been thinking but like that, but I was pretty shocked when this weekend he seemed to be upset, sorry, and apologized for messing up my life. That was the 1st time in 8 months he expressed that. I can't believe he hasn't thought that before, maybe it takes a lot of guts to admit you're at fault or wrong about stuff esp. for our WAS? Anyway, I do believe that your H Kat (and most of the others) either already feel that way or will at some point. Karen
I have no idea who they think they are kidding. Certainly not us. Not their friends and family. Probably not even themselves. It's delusional. My W still insists OM is still just a friend. When I told her to drop the facade, she just kind of looked embarrassed, but still insists that's all it is. I guess it is easier to pretend that, than pretend the A is justified. Whatever. She can pretend I give a damn what story she decides to hide behind this week.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
My H just keeps saying that this situation has nothing to do with OW. Well in my humble opinion 3's a crowd in a marriage and it has a huge bearing on what is going on now.
Pretty soon it won't be my problem at all. I still don't wish him any happiness, not sure when I will be able to.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
My H just keeps saying that this situation has nothing to do with OW. Well in my humble opinion 3's a crowd in a marriage and it has a huge bearing on what is going on now.
Pretty soon it won't be my problem at all. I still don't wish him any happiness, not sure when I will be able to.
kat
My H and I have been in many arguments about that same thing! The OW has nothing to do with our separation/divorce? I can't believe they can actually say that with a straight face! (Yeah, I don't bother to argue that kind of stupid stuff anymore; definitely a cheeseless tunnel but so crazy!!!
I wouldn't worry about wishing your H too much happiness. Anyone that is delusional and messed-up like he is probably is not in for a big amount of happiness I wouldn't think! Karen
