Ok an update, my wife dropped the girls off at my apartment this evening. She came in for a few minutes, we had some idle chit chat and then she told the girls she was heading home. I walked her over to the door and said "before you go I just want to say your best friend has always been here, maybe lost a little while but he's always been here. Your best friend, confidant, companion, lover and husband has always been here for you." She smiled and said thanks that's good to know. I hugged her but didn't get much of one back. I then asked her if there was something she wanted to say because it looked like she was holding something back. She said she'd thought about last Sunday and that we need to talk. I asked when and she said, lets talk this week.
So I think I know the answer to the question. I don't particularly like this thought but I will accept what ever comes my way. If it's bad news, it'll hurt but I'll be prepared for it. If it's good news I will be cautiously excited. But I'm not expecting to be cautiously excited. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst is all I can think of right now.
Its going to be a rough few days because of the anticipation.
Now a different feeling to mention, I know I'll be OK if its bad news. One reason is because I've consistently been getting interest by women over the last 6-9 months. I've stayed away but it has been tempting. Knowing that someone or several someones are interested is very powerful stuff. But the biggest reason is I'm finally good with being by myself, with being "single". I don't need anyone in my life right now, I'd like someone but don't need anyone. I've got some great friends and I get a lot of companionship from them.
I think now I need to sit back down with God and talk with him for a while.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
