I can't believe that it's been only 13 months. It seems like it's taken years. It was 13 months ago that I had the phone book out, was looking up attorneys, & told H I hated him & he'd never touch me again.
He's changed so much, I've changed so much. I never thought I could feel this good around him. Reading back to my original posts, amazes me. I was so angry & refusing to bend.
I'm so glad that FG & Gypsy, & others here, met me where I was at. They welcomed my pouring out of anger & frustration. They helped me see things from H's point of view. They gave me a safe place to be. They accepted me just as I was, have accepted me every step along the way, & nudged me gently to be willing to risk loving again. I've never had such great support in my life. Thank you.
& so we begin another thread.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Cookie, As I've been lurking a few days, I've been inspired by your story (and a few others). I don't know how to link yet, please check me out in Newcomers. Peace.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
Bath night must have been fun! Hope the weekend is treating you well. As to ideas for H, the sky is the limit! Keep visiting the bookstore. I think there is still lots of learning to do....
It has to be exciting thinking about things you can do for your H.
*HUGS*
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
These situations do have a way of changing your perspective of time. Two months ago my W and I separated. It seems much longer. Funny thing is that I look at how I was a few months ago and wonder why. There has been many changes.
I am glad to hear that you and your H have both made positive changes and working to a good relationship. God bless and I hope you two have the M that you both want.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
SC, I'm new here but, like so many others, have been lurking here for a while. I have a live-in WAW and have been desperate for perspective and advice, which led me to this site.
I have read much of your story and I want to tell you thank you for your courage, honesty, and willingness to share. I have never posted anything to you (until now) nor you to me but little do you know how much hope and support you have already given me. So again thank you and all the other former or in-the-process-of or current WAW for sharing.
My Story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1512790&page=1#Post1512790
SC- you are an amazing woman. and yes, i do believe it was fate that brought you to this place (remember, i asked you why you ended up here)......you should feel good about yourself. YOu've helped so many people.....myself immensely...and you have every right to be proud of yourself.
you make it easy to see the good things that are happening around me in my sitch...i'm so glad for your input!
hugs
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
Bath night must have been fun! Hope the weekend is treating you well. As to ideas for H, the sky is the limit! Keep visiting the bookstore. I think there is still lots of learning to do....
It has to be exciting thinking about things you can do for your H.
*HUGS*
"bath night" is always fun, lol, well, except the night my hair got singed. LOL
I'm gonna pass on the bookstore for a bit. I'm learning enough in C & school still. My brain needs to just coast & absorb everything. But, I'll make a list of books to read in the near future.
I haven't really thought of much yet. Maybe I'm just not there yet. Which is okay. I'm happy with my progress.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Today I chose not to go to church. I just didn't feel like it. A few years ago I would have been afraid not to go. I would have worried that H would have gotten mad & scolded me when he found out.
Today, when I told him, it didn't even cross my mind to worry. I guess I'm starting to feel like an adult.
His reaction; "playing hooky huh, cool".
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Sounds like a good day. It's funny how much fear can dictate your life until you take the power away from it. It's especially lovely that your husband chose to be a husband rather than an authority figure once you were able to show you were willing to make decisions that didn't include him.
Did you ever stop to think of what a precious jewel you are. Aside from you external beauty, your giving nature, your bullheaded tenaciousness to do everything, you have this wonder that is you.
I'm so happy that I get to see that part evolve and blossom.
Here's to you being good to yourself.. for treating yourself like your best friend.
