2008 = Crazy Year (3)

[lost_in_space]

I told my WW that I gave up my right to just walk away from the M without trying absolutely EVERYTHING the minute D16 was born. The W of the family friends I referred to in my post you quoted actually warned WW that if she pushes D, she could easily lose D16 and S13 WHEN they find out about the A because they can choose where they want to live. Still not sure if that has sunk in.

Sorry Lost I would have EXPOSED it already to the kids. Kids KNOW even if you think they don't. They live with you and know you better than anyone else. Let her see the choices she has made and how it effects all her family. It will sink right in. Is there a specific reason you haven't?

Peaches,
I have struggled with that - in fact, I would say that has been the one thing that has kept me up at night. Part of me thinks that they don't need to deal with his cr@p. BUT I know they are dealing with it anyway. If / when the kids do find out, I need to be able to assure them that I am not trying to be vindictive or doing so out of revenge. I want to show how I am trying to live up to my commitment to our family.

Their mom is their mom and deep down is a wonderful person. But the actions she is doing now are soooo wrong. There is a life lesson that is critical to know. I know if the A was not there that would be one thing, but with the A, the whole thing is not about "goring apart", it is about bad choices / decisions.

Funny thing is, three nights before PA meeting #1, WW sat the entire family down and said "LYING WILL NOT BE TOLERATED IN THIS FAMILY". How hypocritical. WW is also famous here for saying to the kids that there are good and bad decisions and the consequences will follow. How they do not practice what they preach.

You are so right about dealing with this and work and kids. Work has been hard but is getting easier as I am trying more and more to detach. My K's provide the incentive and motivation I need to keep persevering and remaining PATIENT.