Meeting WAS for first time. Any advice?

[MaxP]

Hi christarn, thanks for the reply.

One thing that people do say can precipitate a sudden change in an R are unresolved issues surrounding a death. As you mention, that may be a factor in your R. I wonder how much it affected my W when her uncle died. She started talking less and less to me and saying some odd stuff and I think started talking more and more to her friends. They became more the kind of people she felt she had things in common with and I became less so in her eyes. It's hard when your wife / best friend decides to confide in others, not you.

I was just reading up on your sitch. Hopefully I might gain some insights there too and have something I can pass on. The one strange thing about my W is that she hasn't given me a rollercoaster, in terms of changes of direction. It's been point the train away from me and full steam ahead, don't even look back to wave. So much so that I'm slowly getting involved in another R, but that's making me nervous.

One of the saddest nails in our R is that we've separated at a time when we should be having kids. We did try, but she never really wanted them. I was the one who changed my mind and then back again because I could see she was uncomfortable and I was too nervous about becoming a parent. I'm terrible at making decisions - I think too much. I can't see that issue ever being resolved now, so it gives everything some kind of finality, no matter how much I still feel for her. So sad.

There is so much fallout from this process. Emotional, financial (right now), for me there's been some career stuff, loss of friends, loss of a future, loneliness, feeling like a failure - but also positives to do with reconnecting and learning about how to behave and what you want. The price of those things needn't be so high though.

Max

I need to contact her about setting a date and venue. I should do that next week,