The road goes ever on...

[jon2911]

Finally able to post!

Finished my paper on Wednesday, just found out that I made an A! Very surprised and relieved.

W moved to her new place on Thursday, texted me a few times "what are you doing this weekend," I played it cool. Then she called that night and said "I wish you were here". I was able to take a half-day at work Friday, then leave at 4 AM this morning to drive back and play at church. It was a perfect way to celebrate being done with school.

We had some great food, watched Hancock (very good), and got some work done on her new place. It's an incredibly nice, brand new house, but she's having roommate problems already. Really, her dog is causing the problems, so that should be interesting.

W had a headache all day Saturday, which was a challenge. She got very bitchy, no way else to say it. I just acted as if, helped her run errands, etc. Really felt like leaving a couple times, but glad I didn't.

At one point I asked her where her drill was, and she broke down crying. She has stuff in storage in Dallas, stuff at her parents, and at her new place. This is the most organized person I've ever known, so it's really hard on her. I sat with her a bit and just listened. Staying with her parents was terrible, because they watched her so closely. She didn't even feel like she could buy shampoo and soap without them judging her. (One of W's nicknames is "toiletry queen", so I was astonished survived so long without her products). She said she's been tight on money before, but never like this. Really, she's never experienced this. Reality bites. She still can't work.

I held her and said I wish I could fix this. She also said "I know we're not supposed to be together, and I don't want to come back to Dallas just because of finances. I couldn't fix you, you couldn't fix me, it just didn't work." This ticked me off a bit, but I bit my tongue. Thinking back on it, at least it shows she's thinking.

Other than that, she was very negative all day. Critiqued my driving, my personality, picked at everything. I really had to fight to keep a good mood, and it reminded me what things were like during our M. When her head hurts, she can't sleep, can't do anything, but gets agitated because she's not accomplishing anything. And of course takes it out on me. I basically forced her to go to the movie, but we had a great time. It's so hard to know when to do that, leave her alone, etc.

**warning: not Jeff-safe**
The worst thing about the migraines is that she really doesn't feel like sex. She made several comments during the day about how sex is the only thing that works for us, but she can't even do that. After a good dinner and a movie, she was in a better mood, and I decided to go for it. It definitely took some work, but it's much more rewarding that way. And there's something I forgot: her orgasms are MUCH, um, bigger when she has a migraine. They've actually done studies on it. So, it's a lot harder to get there, but worth it. And, it really helps get her mind off her headache after we get over the initial hump.

Thinking back on the M, on days like yesterday we both would stay in a bad mood, and I wouldn't even feel like trying anything. That she basically gets verbally abusive was an easy excuse. So, I like this PMA thing. I had a lot of thoughts like "great, I drive for 4 hours, and you can't even rest up and relax so we can have a good time?" But was able to shove them out this time. And it was great for both of us. Somehow I think it won't be long until I get to visit again...