Puppy and all else - any screw ups on my part based on my last few posts??
Lost, Just detach from it. I'll repeat what myself and others have told you. You are the one that is making things difficult for your wife to get her drug of choice. And she's angry. So what? Just continue as you have been. You can try to engage her in conversations, but if she ignores you, just move on and don't worry about it. I got to the point where it was almost funny. I mean, she's done this, right? So if she's in a F'd up place right now, who's fault is it? Let her have her anger.
I'd also say that the anger could last for a while. I don't know if my wife was still in contact with OM after I exposed to the kids for a while, but her anger lasted all of a month, and maybe more, before she started being civil to me again. Just stick to your guns. If she says anything to you about telling OMW, just repeat this phrase "she deserved to know what was going on in her marriage". And then walk away. Continue to ask her about family things (like the golf clubs), if she says "whatever" say, "ok, just wanted to know your opinion" and then walk away.
It is a MARATHON. This isn't going to blow over quick. And a lot of times exposure doesn't end the affair right away, but it puts enough pressure on it that it starts to crumble. Think your wife and OM's conversations are going to be all rosy now? NOPE. And don't worry one bit about the "lost respect" comment. That is laughable. She's lost respect for you because you stood up to her? Give me a break. Just ignore it. In fact, you have to ignore EVERYTHING she says and does right now.
Just detach. I know it's hard. Trust me, I know. But the more you detach and GAL and don't base your moods on how she is feeling or reacting to you, the better chances your marriage has.
There's no guarantees, but you've got to do it. Heck, I think one of the things that helped my sitch was if I really didn't have anything to say to my wife, I'd go a couple of days without saying a word to her. But then she'd start to try to pull me back in. Even if she's pulling you back in with anger, it's still there. Just ignore it because you KNOW where that anger is coming from.
Keep your chin up. PATIENCE.....
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
