Meeting WAS for first time. Any advice?

[MaxP]

Thanks Christarn,

Good advice about having an 'out'. I have no desire to get emotional, but there again I guess most people don't. Sometimes emotions appear without you expecting them. Since I've never vented at her since she finally finished things, despite learning of the probable (not confirmed) OM, I just don't know whether I've managed to deal with everything in my mind. Clearly seeing someone after such a long time will be emotional - it just needs to be friendly and controlled.

I also have no desire to discuss the relationship. It doesn't generally get you anywhere that's worth going. To be honest, there are many reasons why our having a relationship again just won't work and I've been moving along the path away from her to other potential relationships for a long time now (there are possibilities). Although it was hard, she never acted as if she wanted anything but out after the bomb. I knew as soon as she said it our chances were very slim. For her, anything like that would be going backwards, a mistake and an admission of failure. Something she just won't do, even if it's makes sense otherwise. Although I hate to use the term, she's been the perfect 'ice queen' towards me for a long time. It's nice to be out in the sun again.

I will do my best to stay calm and be perfectly friendly. I'd also like to say something that might put us a bit more at ease - but is not R based. To be honest, since we never talk about us, it's difficult to get any insight into how she's been since. She did once mention on the phone that she had been to a family get together and that someone had a photo of a previous get together with them. She started to cry when telling me this because she mentioned I was in the photo and an uncle of her's whom she was close to who died just before we split - and we were obvoiusly missing. This is the only time I've encountered any emotion from her since we separated, but I believe it has far more to do with her uncle than me, sadly. He was a really nice guy and she took his death badly.

I will always care about her and look out for her. I still feel something, but I think it's lost love, not love.

Thanks for the virtual hugs. Some days I really need them.

How is your sitch? Do you want to reconcile? Is your H throwing your behaviour back at you?

Max