OK ~ so my H is still in Texas. and anyway he called me yesterday and told me all about his day. Yeah no bigie right? For me this is still a blessing.. he never used to call me or include me. He even ended the convo with I LOVE YOU! I went to bed happy. I miss him alot and he has only been gone a few days. From there he is going to a city 4 hours from here and he will be there for maybe a month. I am actually doing quite well. I thought I would go into nervous , untrusting mode again. I did nicely ask last nite " so are ya behaving Mister?" and he replied " honey , I am not trying to spend a lot of money.. it is not like I am partying."
I said " no , silly. I mean if you are being a good Husband and behaving." He quietly understands and says.. " I am being a good Husband honey~"
I am moving towards being stronger still and having faith in him and also letting him know I am on him and he will have to be the man I expect him to or he wont have me. I will not go back to allowing bad behavior. Or being the sap I used to be. I wont be a bitch but I will be a Real Woman who wants him to be loyal. I am also embarking on a new "diet" . I am trying to lose 26 pounds. MY 12th Anniversary~ is on Sept 26~ and by then my goal is to lose.... @ 20 lbs. So I will post how that is going once in awhile too. That way I am even more accountable. When we were seperated 2 years ago... I was 20 lbs thinner and I liked being that small. But I never got to fully enjoy it cause it was brought on by circumstances that were no fun! I was almost in a size 6~ I hadnt been that small since I was 16 years old. ~WOW~ I am currently a size 10..... so this Goal is not impossible but I have just been busy maintaining my weight and working real hard on my R.
Last time I was doing real good on my health. Working out daily and doing Yoga... he started all his "stuff" and shortly after the BOMB was dropped. So for awhile I have associated being fit and taking time for me with him wanting to leave me.
it honestly was a real fear. UUGGH~ So now, I , no we...... have been getting along better. I know he has said he will be supportive this time. * ( well he was last time too , but I know this time he will be different..... last time he was supportive cause he wanted me to be smaller but he at the same time would get upset if he'd call and I was at the gym)
So anyway this time he will be there for me.
YEAH!~
So I am ready to do this for sure this time... problem is I love to eat.... and we are Mexican. I was born and raised here so .... I love Mexican food and I also love a good juicy Hamburger. And fried plantains with cream.. my absolute Favorite. Makes me curvaliscious but I need to stop that. I need to be a smaller curvaliscious. Anyway enough babbling.. I would appreciate evryones support on this, It will keep me honest and working hard to reach this new Goal~ Thanks, ~Ali
