Help me Act AS IF, Part 7: The Separation

[newnamenewlife]

Today I took off my wedding ring. It was like giving birth, it was so hard to get off! I had to use soap and pull and pull. I took it off because I noticed that H has his off already, not even three weeks into the S. Actually, I feel better with it off since I felt kind of foolish wearing it when he wasn't. Every little step like this hurts, though, too. My H clearly is DONE with our M. I don't know if I'll ever understand how his feelings changed so dramatically or what I may have done that was so unforgivable.

Today H&I are both driving D11 up to sleepaway camp (her first time). That should be interesting--3 hours each way; D7 will be with us too. I can make the choice to be friendly and relaxed, but I also feel very raw, hurt and angry at H, so it's not going to be easy.

In our case, our Ds seem just fine with the S so far. They have their moments, but D11 says it feels more natural for dad and I to live apart! We never fought, that's what's odd, so it's not like our household was awful. There was tension there toward the end, though, which she picked up on. D7 says she likes having two places to live!

I don't get it. They truly seem OK with it, better than I am. H is still a loving involved dad, so that's maybe why. I have to admit it hurts for me to feel like the only one who hasn't just sailed off into this new way of life. I still feel hurt and gypped and betrayed.