I've been reading "Codependent No More", it's been very helpful. I hate labels, codependent being one of them. I always felt bad if I thought they applied to me.
Since I've begun reading this book, I'm aware of behaviors I have and am learning how to address them. For example, my post last night pouting. Shazaam.. upon reflection I realized I was not being direct about what was bugging me. I thought pouting would make people understand they had to take care of me cuz I was hurt. Yelling "OW.. this hurts like a Mama Copulator" is more effective.
Soooooo... if you feel like you're being taken advantage of, you are. How do you combat that?
Figure out what it is (spouse not giving you notice) Figure out your response (oops, got plans.. spouse you figure out how to cover the kids) Know that as tough this stance is, you don't have to 'save' your spouse. He's an adult, he can figure out childcare.
The next time, if there is a next time.. he'll be aware of consequences.
