>>What's the deal with packing your bags and giving ultimatims?<<
It's like Sage said, the ambiguity is freaking him out. Like JamesJohn said, it's fight or flight.
IMHO, he's probably saying that he needs to know that you are clear in your determination to stay and work things out--even though your emotions come and go, even though some days you may feel like you want to just walk--that you WON'T. No one gets guarantees, but we can ask for committment.
I've done it myself--the packing--the "I'm going to end this now" even though we are piecing. It's fear of putting myself completely into working on the R when I sense H is undecided. I've already been hurt to the core and feeling vulnerable already. If H is really dedicated to working on our R, I'll throw myself into that 110%. If I sense he's pulling back I panic and feel like I want to end the tension, end the R, find a way to lock up my heart and start a new life.
It's fear of being hurt again when your still healing from deep wounds.
If I were your H, I'd like to hear you share your thoughts and feelings, but to also be assured that when your feeling unsure about your R, that those feelings can and will pass, and that you're dedicated to sticking it out.
