Hey Char...just wanted to chime in here... Naturally it's scary communicating fears to our Ses because it leaves us open to getting hurt even further. I think, for me, I'd rather my W tell me how she's REALLY feeling rather than keep it to herself. From my position, my fears revolve around NOT knowing what's going on in her head because there were too many things left unsaid and held as secrets during her A. In other words, I am more fearful when she doesn't communicate with me than I am when she communicates "negative" things to me. I imagine that's how your H may feel. Thing is, if our S is listening when we communicate these negative/fearful things, it gives each partner an opportunity to grow...and grow together...strengthening the bonds between one another.
I do know that my W has been hesitant in the past about telling me things because she's afraid of my reaction (and rightly so...I used to be a bit high-strung). I imagine it's the same way with you. Perhaps if you tell this to your H, he'll rethink the "drama" of his response next time???
