Sorry for having to be so pointed earlier, but I am worried you aren't getting it. Your wife isn't the one in the spotlight right now, its you. EVERY move you make can bring her CLOSER, or FURTHER away.
Each time you want to say or do something, your marriage be the driving force behind it.
And yes, going out and enjoying yourself CAN be motivated by a good marriage. When you enjoy yourself, its easier to make a marriage work. Go out and have a good time, bring that feeling home with you and share it with your W, when she's ready.
If you make ANY mistakes right now, it will justify your W's position. Right now everyone is wondering why she wants to leave. Everyone is going to be keeping an eye on YOU to find out what it is YOU are doing that makes her want to leave. They wont say it, but they are.
The best way to handle that spotlight is to be the model husband. Don't do anything immature. Over TIME everyone will be thinking "I have been watching him and ya know...he's perfect...why would she want to leave?" Eventually this will begin to fester in your wife's head too, but that's going to take a few months most likely.
Affairs do'nt often end overnight, and she sounds like she's still wresting with the whole mess internally. She will need a month or so at least to work it out of her and come to terms with the "new you".
Once she works out the fantasy and the reality of the OM sets in...she will have to decide if she wants to trust the new you or the OM. We aren't there yet. You have to stay the course until that time.
Patience, she will get there. It just takes time.
The best thing you can do to help your marriage is become the best husband you can be right now.
