When I heard from my lawyer that spouse's 'girlfriend' wanted her (their) address kept secret because she was afraid I would harass her, I was astounded.
Why would I do that? What would I get out of that? What example would that be to my children? He was the problem, not her.
I figured that a person who worried about being harassed would be most likely to harass. Their relationship was built on dishonesty. What would keep her from entering my home?
That's when I changed my locks, after okaying it with the lawyer. Spouse no longer lived here. When he'd come in he'd move around the house like he did. I had no sense of privacy, especially when he'd rush upstairs, not respond to me calling him and come back downstairs with something wrapped in a jacket.
Why would I allow someone I didn't trust easy access to my home? The kids were taken aback but it was my boundary. My way of feeling safe. I hated locking doors but I did.
Perhaps the hardest part of holding onto that thread of 'hope' is when I realized deep down inside that I no longer trust him, his actions, his word. And he does nothing to change that.
