Take the kids and go all day sat and sun. Go out have fun and get W totally out of your head.
Stay dark to her unless it is about the kids. Just tell her you really want to hang out with the kids and enjoy summer because it flies by so fast. You can just say you read somethgin or something you saw inspired you to just enjoy the weekend with them.
Then go out during the week as well with no mention of where you are going. Watch her reactions carefully.
It seems to me like you are just waiting for an opp to talk to her which will probably lead to R talk, which is bad news. I could be wrong, but that's the vibe I got from your posts.
Just trying to watch out for your well-being here and help you avoid a potential backslide.
- Scott
Original Thread Part 2 M-37 W-34 M 10 T 14 2 Ds 13
LS- Scott has a great idea. the more you do with your kids, the better you will feel and the better your kids will feel. Last weekend i took my kids to the zoo with their cousin and uncles on saturday, and then i went to my best friends house who has two sons the same age as my 2 kids.
the more you do, the better you will feel. THis is part of GAL...it's not justfor you, its for the kids as well.
Your W is noticing things..just keep doing them.
and don't bring up the lesbianism thing. It's a boundary thing for her right now. If and when she wants to tell you, she will. Don't force it, or else it could backfire......
you are doing great. keep it up!
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
Thx Scott and Neil! I have been doing those things with the kids for the last 3 or 4 weeks and weekends and this is the first weekend that the W will be lingering around the house without friends. I do have plans with the kids this afternoon and tomorrow and she is still probably wondering about last night.
Still dark right now.
And I her you on the lesbian thing and agree.
The good thing about me accidentult taking her call while I was golfing yesterday was that right after I hung up, I screamed F for the first time. Felt good to release that.
Well W is home with the kids and I am out grocery shopping then mowing the lawn, topless so I can work on my tab. Going to the pool with the kids and then grilling out with them.
Since the W left the front porch light on for me last night, i'll return the favor by picking up her WW meals for the week but not tell her. Chris
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
Get home and now W wants to get an apartment. I said I understand but the funds she wants to use will be needed for legal things if she continues to move forward. Not what she wanted to hear and I kept my attention on the kids and not really on the conversation. She then said that she wants boundaries as to who does what which day and I said okay and told her the plans that I already had for the kids this weekend to whuch she responded that she doesn't want to act like a family. I said I understand but I am just doing what is best for the kids. She left to take s shower and was kind of pissy. Oh well. Almost time to mow the lawn.
Chris
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
I think you're doing great, amid extreme difficulties.
Take care of yourself.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Still having computer problems. Just over at the kid's now so I can drop in and see how you are doing.
I would not bring up about anything concerning OW. I have to admit that I wondered why she was having her "friend" over so much, but thought perhaps it was maybe just support. I know of a couple where the W actually let another younger woman move in with her and her H and they (the wife and OW) slept together while the H slept in his own room. So, don't let it get that far. I have even wondered if that is why she is checking in on you in your bedroom when she does or wants to know you plans in details, so she can plan around it and not get caught with OW. However, I still would not talk R even about OW b/c it would end badly (I think). If she is experimenting.....then just try to outshine the OP whether it is a man or woman. I hope it is neither, but if she is going through some kind of crisis, then it could be.
I believe you should protect yourself financially. If she gets mad....so be it. I do not believe you should help her get her own place or support her in order for her to have a living place of her own. I think I have given my reasons before for that. That was the main reason I could not move out of the house and leave my H was due to the fact I could not support myself. I was forced to either move in with my mother or stay with him. So, I stayed, and in time, then things started improving. So, I don't go along with H's supporting their W's in living apart from them.
I have to go. Sure hope I get my computer fixed soon. I miss talking to all of you.
Take care. Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks Sandi! I have been holding back with the financial stuff but will be making some changes this week. I do want things in the open to some degree because she has already accused me if hiding assets, when I wish I could we just have noting to hide!
So, W left at noon today for lunch and it's now 8 pm. I really don't care for my sake but it's bad for the kids and they are asking too many questions considering how young they are. So, to give everyone a laugh at my expense....
I feel like Ross from friends. Maybe i'll make that my new nickname.
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
Jotting down some notes and will fill in the blanks later.
W said she needs separateness W asked if kids were crying etc... Asked about the day Said I should have called if I needed her home earlier, which I didn't W said she wants to spend time with kids tomorrow W said I can go out if I want but I am chilling at home tonight so I can make the early mass Did not seem appreciative of my darkness I answered her questions but did not ask any and took more interest in my TV show
Hit me with a 2x4 if I should have been more responsive when she talked with me when she got home. Still learning this dark thing.
I'll be back later.
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
