WOW!! progress w H? Keeping my PMA

[Neilh23]

that fact that he talked to you the other nite about his feelings is proof enough. C'mon girl....remember, baby steps!

you don't want this too soon, because you might slip back into old habits (again, practice what i preach...LOL). He might've gotten scared a little bit because before what you did wouldn't have happened. Just keep your eyes peeled for another chance. The more consistent you are, the better off you will be and the more he will notice the changes!!

You're doing great...Keep it up!

[pisces9]

true- slow is the key- ugh....i think we both get to work on patience- one good thing happens and then whammo! time to get back together tomorrow- ha ha!

thanks for the vote of confidence- it really helps to know im being heard...sometimes I need to just let it out...

i really appreciate your input/support Neil
and all others who pop by- it gives me more courage to face each day!

[Neilh23]

you are quite welcome. i appreciate your input on mine too. i have a hard time keeping up my PMA sometimes, but it helps to have a place to talk to.

just keep working on your patience. Good things come to those who wait...!

[pisces9]

well we talked today about our house finally moving along- very brief...told him i went hiking and he asked where, etc. then he talked about his workouts, etc...then i said so what are your plans today- he said this and that...he said what about you- i said lunch and this and that....but i didnt ask him to do anything bc i dont want to pursue him after our discussion ...he seemed to back away...plus the door was opened by me and he could have asked but he didnt...i think he is retreating still.

i do know that he told his friend that the grass isnt greener...so he is reaching out to his friends now....

i am scerd for some reaswon- im sad he didnt ask me to meet up with him...oh well..im sure he will sooner or later...this just gets odl after a while..this game.

im ok overall and i had a great hike and vent session with my friend today- its just overwhelming sometimes and it fees like it goes on forever...

also- our anniversary is next monday and i had mentioned that we get together for it in an email (email had other stuff too)....i left it low key (per my db coach)....and he replied to the email but not that part...so i will not say anything about it again and it makes me bummed...

oh well- it will all be ok.

[Neilh23]

its ok to be scared. you're scared of the future....which still can be shaped by your actions. Act as if...............everything will be ok....and waht will happen? act as if things aren't going to be ok.....and what will happen?
i think i'm starting to get it........

don't be bummed....he probably got a little scared. not of you..but of himself opening up like that. it's a difficult thing to do, esp. for a guy....no matter the sitch. you did good when you had that discussion.

he asked what you were up to. that's always a positive. and it's ok he didn't ask you to do something....remember, you can't rush anything.

this game does get old...and it does seem like it goes on forever, but it's worth it. it's a dance.....right now, he's leading.....let him. the fact that he said the grass isn't greener to another friend? that's HUGE. take your time....

let him inititate the anniversary thing.........he might surprise you...... you never know.

[pisces9]

thanks Neil- i did realize after I wrote this that him asking what i was doing today was a nice friendly gesture- so thats good...and he has shown positives a lot...

so just like you, i guess im rushing things in my head...he is probably scared- esp bc he hasnt openend up really evver....this si all new territory for him....i just hope he faces hi stuff and doesnt run away ...but i dont see that happeneing...

that is so good to hear a guy's perspective- this is all new..i would usually open up the R talks before and now he is doing it- so its a whole new game...

i agree with everything you said- amazing- the dance is so true!

i will hold tight with the anniversary issue- he may surprise me- if not- ill still have a card for him... :0)

[pisces9]

a positive thing i did this weekend was meet with my mom and 3 of my great friends- i was sooooo busy...hiking, walking, shopping , dinners...and the i painted last night...i have been wanting to start painting again and i did...i am working on a huge wall hanging ....4 ft x 4 ft....so i am really feeling like i am creating my life the way i want it....it feels pretty good...

[7 Year Itch]

That's awesome! Great GALing! I'm glad you had such a great weekend Can we post pics here? I'd love to see some of your art!

Chris

[poet]

Hi Pisces,

I am very new to these boards, and I've read bits and pieces of your story. First of all, we have no kids but we have a dog too. Second, I was separated from my H on 5/15. So, we're close in range too. But I have to say, you are doing a lot better. I just joined DBing on 7/2 and have yet to be able to put all the practices into action. My H was much nicer to me immediately after the separation, even wanted to do things with me. Now, he's distanced himself. So, I see your sitch as in a very good place. I hope you keep the faith because you, unlike me, are smart enough to put you principles into action. Good for you.

S

[pisces9]

Thanks Chris! im not sure i would know how to post my paintings- he he....but it did feel very good to start..i never know what ill end up with ...
Suzanne- if you have started DB'ing i would also consider a coach- my sitch was little different and staying dark would not have been the best and my coach showed me this...i was told to act like casual friends..that helped...

now it is just a matter of patience...that is the hardest part...a life lesson!