sorry I didn't clarify. I haven't been out with a single woman in public or private, and the woman i'm referring to lives on the other end of the state. I picked our son up from the house so she could sleep in and then clean the house. i hope that is a start at being model/supportive
ok,let me make my point clearer. YOU have to become a more mature person. When we see a deviation from that here on this board I will call you on it, I am trying to HELP you.
As for her being at the "other end of the state"...guess what - your wife won't care.
If she finds an email from you or something and you tell her that this person is "at the other end of the state" she will LAUGH at you.
It doesn't matter WHERE the marital threat IS. Would it matter where the OM was right now? N), she is in CONTACT with him and it hurts you. Don't reciprocate destructive behaviour. Don't throw up pathetic defenses to excuse yourself, your W does that, children do that, the OM does that. Acknowledge the choice, own it, and make motions to improve yourself.
I am not trying to beat you up here, i am trying to wake you up. If we warn you about marital predators and your response is to defend yourself by telling me "she's miles away"...guess what...that sends ALARM bell of to us that YOU don't GET IT.
When you are in your situation, you need to WANT to be MATURE. DEFENDING yourself when someone warns you about marital threats is not mature. Waving a threat off because it is miles away is NOT mature. The OM is a threat, you want your wife to acknowledge that yes? Then acknowledge it when others warn YOU of threats and don't wave them off.
Is that how you want YOUR WIFE to respond when you bring the OM up? You want her to say "well, he's hours away so its ok"...? My guess is that won't be pleasant to hear...
YOU want your W to say "that was immature of me, I am not proud of myself and I want to be a mature person. I won't allow that to happen to my marriage again."
When YOU start talking like that, like how YOU want your WIFE to work with you, THEN we know we are doing our job and you are getting it.
Again I am not trying to beat you up, I am trying to wake you up. Keep away from other women, even on the internet. STEER CLEAR.
And don't defend yourself when you make a mistake and your wife calls you on it, just acknowledge it was immature and that your marriage is THE MOST important thing to you and that you won't be allowing that to happen to your marriage again. That's the most mature way to handle this as far as I can tell. Others here may have other suggestions.
