It is truly terrible that you and your kids are caught in the middle of this. Your husband's behaviour is HIS behaviour and has nothing to do with you, would probably have happened no matter who he was with. This is easier to see with addictions other than sex, which is so personal and strikes directly at the heart of a marriage.
Keeping the details mostly to yourselves allows everyone to the opportunity to behave with dignity. Think of it as a gift to your children - it's very hard for kids to accept themselves without a positive view of their parents.
Having him leave and see other women must be incredibly difficult. I know it's one of my huge fears, that actually seeing my H with other women will rip my heart out and I may not be able to control my reaction. Do you remember some years ago there was a woman who ran over her cheating husband with the car? I think it was more than once - she backed up and did it again. I can totally relate to her, the fierce joy of just letting go and doing what you want to the bastard.
