I am doing okay, keeping busy, GAL'ing, passing my 180's with flying colors, but every once in a while, it all creeps back in, and I realize that hes not going to be there when I get home, that I want desperately to ML with him, and I cant, and its all because he decided that he was lonely and is now in love with someone who lives over 1000 miles away and IS M TO SOMEONE ELSE! without even telling me that he was unhappy. We didnt fight, so many people hate eachother and still stay together, we were best friends. If he needed more why couldnt he tell me?
I just want my life back, its really getting old to struggle like this every day, I know that I am being strong, and I know that I am fighting, but when is it too much? Am I just ignoring the inevitable? I miss him so much, I miss his body next to mine, I miss him asking if he could help with dinner, I miss debating politics, and religion and the merits of a low carb diet, Yamaha VS. Harley, I miss sleeping till 2pm because we drank too much crown last night, I miss it all.
Blue I could have written a lot of that myself..we also didn't fight anynore..we had reached a point in our marriage where I felt secure and happy. In August we went on a family cruise. Little did I know he was texting her most of the time and a month later slept with her. it hurts so much..I just wish i could rewind and change so many of the things I said and did through the years.But you can't go back just move forward.You sound liek you arte doing so well with your 180's though..me I need more work on that..
Me: 36 H: 34 2 D's: 10+13 Married: 13 yrs(Together 15) Found out about A-Jan 08 Finally ended April 08..I hope?? Struggling to co-exist in peace
