Thanks guys for your understanding & advice. It definitely is weakness that I feel, ever since I've been back, I feel anger, sadness and loneliness coming over me in waves. Plus, all the frustration of no contact. I promised him that I wouldn't call him while he was away (to show him that I "got" that he needed space) and I'm sticking to it, but I am definitely counting the hours until he returns next week.
I have never really been alone in my life. This is the longest that I haven't been "in" a relationship in my adult life. I keep thinking about this quote from Eat, Pray, Love:
"When I get lonely these days I think: So BE lonely. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your unfulfilled yearnings."
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
