Ughhhh...I just lost my post and here it is again. I have such a problem focusing on my issues and looking for clues to improve. This weekend H stayed over every night and I asked him if he wanted to stay over and he said I'd love to !! then we somehow got into OR talk right on our Sat. night date. H said OP just adored him. And I said dont I? He laughed and said no. What is adoration? Is it healthy? Is it fleeting? I am a bit stuck on this.
H also said he told his C that his heart wasnt in it. This I am really sick of hearing and I guess I just choose to ignore it. But I said " your heart isnt in it right now?" He said Yes it is. Hmmmmm....I get very upset and down when I think of how many times I have had to listen to this phrase. His C told him to get out if his heart wasnt in it. This bothered him and he doesnt want to see her anymore.!! I wonder if C was trying to get him to admit to himself that it is or does C think he needs to leave? What does everyone think? I am so confused. I dont know whether to tell him to go to her or not. Encourage I mean. So, I mentioned our other MC, and H said he was a little embarrassed to go back since we had one session where H was mean- saying he missed OW and didnt feel better and brought up all my faults. I cried and he ignored me. I staggered out - H supported me - and drove away, only to have H calling and apologizing and telling me I was beautiful. But what did it all mean? Not much changed after that or because of it. H said OP called 3 months ago and they had a closure on why it happened etc. H says this is 95% over.
As over as it can be and now he has ticked her off anyway. told her OR was important to him and he couldnt be happy with her if he didnt try to save his M. I said was this before or after she dropped he pants? I cant seem to listen but it really makes me sick. I apologized on Sunday morning - H seemed down and said he was down about himself. Said he deserved it. I told him I will be a better listener and it wasnt right of me to make him feel bad. Seems I want to punish him.
Advice on the MC anyone? I asked H when I got to be 50 would he dump me for a younger model. He said no, he would be 50 too. He is always saying if it works out and he has spent the night at home more than ever but not officially moved back. My list is still not made-got to get there. Anyone have such a list when they got back together?
