Thanks Pam- Of course he cares about turning 40! Can you get him something fun that makes you look hip and young? Like maybe - gosh tough one- I got my H a nice watch - it is a milestone not to be ignored right? I will jump over on your thread shortly.
Weird night last night. We started talking about his toxic FF and he told me FF encourage OW to chase him. He admitted not being a good judge of character and why would she interfere in his M? this was a good conversation. FF always seemed to have her claws out around me and very threatened. VEry low self esteem person and H was always sticking up for her- I figured one day she would show her true colors. But it felt good to hear H say it. Then he said a few things- OW called him about 3 months ago and they talked about what happened and why. This is when Ow talked about claw-like FF telling her that. I was upset that OW is calling still. H says about 3 times this year and just to see how he is. Translation: See if I am still in the picture. He told her OR was important to him and he is working on it. I was annoyed that the "nails are not in the coffin" and he said the coffin was closed on that as far as it was going to get- H thinks she realizes it is over. I think it is pretty wishy washy on his part- subconsciously keeping that in tact in case.... So we slept together after I asked lots of questions about OW and sitch- he was wearing down and sort of sticking up for her- yuck----anyway, we made love, went to sleep and woke up bummed out - both of us. I dont know. How can I get through this stuff and put it behind us- I can t just forget about it. I want to discuss it and put it in the past.
H sent this email:
A couple of thoughts:
We can try to deal with this or ignore it, I think we need to deal with it. Maybe a little at a time, I don't know......
The Dr. told me something interesting that has helped me, Some, with bad feelings I have about ME and HAD about you, (not much anymore). She told me to think of it this way, that is no one is bad...... People behave badly, make poor choices and do hurtful things, does not mean they are bad people. I know it's easier for me to think someone is bad or I'm right and everyone else is wrong, therefore my feelings and behavior are OK. That is not really the case. I really understand that now.
l, H
anyway, this is really sweet huh? what do you think about all this?? Am I being a pain?
