Oh man, I went to a friends house for drinks, and her S8 gave me a foot massage, then asked me if I was going to tell H all about the great foot rub I got... I said you bet I am!

Oh, I just wish this was all behind us. I dont want to have to lie to little kids because of the ridiculous things hes doing. When my friend went to the store to get liquor for tonite one of the clerks asked "is it true? Did Kristin's H really leave?" with a big smile even. I used to manage the store, so its not that surprising that they are talking about it, but comeon, talking about the end of my life as I know it like its nothing? She didnt answer him, I dont know what I would do without this girl I tell you.

I am doing okay, keeping busy, GAL'ing, passing my 180's with flying colors, but every once in a while, it all creeps back in, and I realize that hes not going to be there when I get home, that I want desperately to ML with him, and I cant, and its all because he decided that he was lonely and is now in love with someone who lives over 1000 miles away and IS M TO SOMEONE ELSE! without even telling me that he was unhappy. We didnt fight, so many people hate eachother and still stay together, we were best friends. If he needed more why couldnt he tell me?

I just want my life back, its really getting old to struggle like this every day, I know that I am being strong, and I know that I am fighting, but when is it too much? Am I just ignoring the inevitable? I miss him so much, I miss his body next to mine, I miss him asking if he could help with dinner, I miss debating politics, and religion and the merits of a low carb diet, Yamaha VS. Harley, I miss sleeping till 2pm because we drank too much crown last night, I miss it all.

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...