Of course you are right. My W has told me she has realised she has always been a victim in her relationships and is somethig she has to sort out.
I can honestly say i could be with her now and not be controlling at all. Half of any solution is knowing there was a problem in the first place. W unfortuneately is so hurt from my behaviour that she can't even begin to consider trying at our R.
There are courses available dealing with relationship control and i'm considering taking one for my benefit (but also making sure my wife knows). At least then she will realise that i know there was an issue and am prepared to do something about it.
Other than that i am making a real effort to support my W and give her as much freedom as possible (not that i have any choice)
I say "effort" because of OM is a bit of a torture.
yeah - hope hurts - it would be so easy to just close the emotional door. Thing is a lot of the time - i don't think she has closed the door. I feel I'm under very close scrutiny.
Quite relaxed about that cos i have really changed (even amazes myself). I am a real better person - just would be ideal to have my wife and family back with me.
I could see my W almost every day and have pretty good time together. I'm always in doubt if i should do this so she can see the changes or be "lovingly distant" as is the DB way.
