I'm glad you heard from your son. I'm sure it must be nice to hear how he is doing. My brother went through Marine bootcamp many years ago. One story that still makes me laugh is that he went through Marine boot camp at the same time that I went through Air Force boot camp. After we were done, we both came home to visit our parents at the same time. He was unpacking his duffel bag and pulled out these ratty old combat boots with absolutely no tread left on them. So I said to him "gee the Marines don't have enough money to give you new combat boots when you join up" and he said what are you talking about - these were new when I got them. After six weeks of what I thought was intense basic training in the Air Force, my combat boots till looked relatively new. It was then that I realized how happy I was I joined the Air Force instead of the Marines:-)!
I hope you have a nice evening with your sister. I think it is good that you are getting out and taking care of you. Have a great weekend!
Today has been uneventful, I am working now and off to the city after work... I did not call H today... though he called me to tell me he was going to take D14 to her VB Coach for practice... It was then, I told H I was going to the city and would not be home until tomorrow,, He said.... "Oh.. I guess I will see you tomorrow then..." and that was it... not have good time... nothing... I wonder if it was bothering him... That has been the extend of our conversation today with the exception of him asking for directions, that he certainly could have gotten himself (I did it with a smile...)
When I woke up this morning H was gone.. I assume he went to the office to call OW, it was evening time there... I hate knowing that stuff.. ok not knowing but the gut feelings I get... it stinks.. I try to put her out of my head, but I find it hard... What does she have that I don't? Has he told her we are still ML? What do they talk about... What do they have in common... The cultural differences alone would be overwhelming (she is from the Phillipines) He's a football fanatic - does she even know who the Cowboys are?
I want to have fun tonight... but thoughts of H and the situation never leave my head.
Hope you are doing well this weekend!
t
Me - 38 H-36 DD - 15 S- 19 Together -almost 18 years M - 16 The Bomb - May 24th 2008 Meeting with Michelle July 7, 2008 Status - I moved out Sept 2009
What do they have in common... The cultural differences alone would be overwhelming (she is from the Phillipines) He's a football fanatic - does she even know who the Cowboys are?
t,
I'm laughing right now thinking of the OW wondering why your H is cheering for a bunch of Cowboys - not knowing their a football team!! Thanks - I needed that humor.
My weekend has been tiring to say the least. I'm in the process of organizing for a major move across the country. Hauling boxes down from the rafters, purging stuff that I didn't want here and certainly don't want over there. Right now I'm on a self-imposed and much needed beer break! The stress of a move is bad enough, but it is even worse when your my personal life is not going well either. I hope that I am doing the right thing getting everything moved so that the W and I can be in the same place when she returns in the fall.
My W called this morning to just chit chat. We didn't talk about anything R related, but I stayed on the call just a little bit too long. I should have been the one to end it, but I hung on and she ended up getting antsy and said she had to go. I have to do better about that next time.
You are doing so good detaching - I am sure that your H is curious as to your activities tonight. Probably bothering him as well, but that is okay - it will give him a little taste of what life could be like if he doesn't change gears. I hope you have a great time, let your hair down (okay maybe not too much but you know what I mean) and do yourself a favor by put all of the crap you have been dealing with out of your mind for one evening. Take care.
Well.. My Sister and I had a blast lastnight.. there were games, and flirting, and guess what.. I think I still have it! What's funny though is at about 11:30 pm.. H called.. I missed it... H texted Me... "Are you coming home tonight? Do I need to lock the door"? (who knew texting was addictive, I always thought it was silly.. but guess what?..) Anyway, he KNEW I was staying at my sisters...Anyway.. got home.. he did more laundry.. helped with that and took a nap..he mowed the lawn... I asked H & D14 if they wanted to go to the lake...D14 was not interested at all and H moderatley interested... I made up my mind that I would go no matter what... But H decided to go with me... Just the 2 of us... I was sensing some distance but acted as-if... we chit chatted but there were times we had nothing to say... not bad though... On the way home... ok I flirted.. I wanted to be spontaneuos, not a whole blown out ML session, just fun, flirtacious.. maybe a little naughty... just to see what would happen..still a little coolness coming from him, but very subtle... but he had no problem playing along... that was my 180... I wonder what he is thinking...... came home, cooked dinner, and now as I sit here... H is laying next to me... trying to nap... funny thing is he usually naps on the sofa.. so why is he here next to me? And I wonder still... what is he thinking... I know he is going over to the office soon.. to "clean his desk"... although it is Monday morning (overseas) and time for the OW to start her day... Then again... I have seen his desk.. and yes... it needs to be cleaned...
Not a bad day... just wondering alot I guess...
Hope everyones weekend had good times to go along with it...
t
Me - 38 H-36 DD - 15 S- 19 Together -almost 18 years M - 16 The Bomb - May 24th 2008 Meeting with Michelle July 7, 2008 Status - I moved out Sept 2009
I think things are looking very good for you. Keep doing exactly what you are doing. You are in a very good place right now - your H is definitely still interested in the R. You definitely "still have it" and he is not interested in someone else possibly getting it.
Well his office is cleaned... When he came home I was on the PC talking to a girl friend... H was interested in what I was doing...sat with me and played with the dog, chit chat.. but I continued my online conversation..not ingoring H just not initating..after a while 15-20 minutes he left to watch tv w/D14, I decided to decompress so I went for a soak in the tub...guess who needs something in the bathroom - (we have 3) but I locked the door... when I emerged from my very relaxing soak ALONE he had the bed turned down... lights off, I made a comment something like "Oh your in bed already" and he said yeah are you coming? (I was gathering a few things.) I wasn't tired.. so I grabbed my pc and decided to watch a little tv... I think he expected me to go to bed... so I Didn't.. Here I sit...
I feel like have a little bit of control here.. I may be getting over confident..
The last few weeks have been hell for me and alot of others on this board... But watching others here go through all of these stages has been so helpful..I have learned so much about myself and I am really liking the person I continue to become... Its a shame that my sense of selfworth is coming from a sad situation. I wonder if H is finding himself too...I really hope that he does..
Off to bed... Goodnight to all.. t
Me - 38 H-36 DD - 15 S- 19 Together -almost 18 years M - 16 The Bomb - May 24th 2008 Meeting with Michelle July 7, 2008 Status - I moved out Sept 2009
Work work work at H's office at some point I will have to go back to my own... but opportunity to DB... H is still chilly but asked me if I was going to the gym with him.. I think I will.. still undecided, it was a loonnnggg day...he stayed behind at work, not unusual but can't help but think he stays to talk to OW... ok.. its out of my head now...
You know what though.. I am seeing now that even if the D happens.. I will be ok... I can still find the happiness I deserve.. it will be different but I think I will be ok...I am not seeing changes in him so much as myself...he is still the same as before the bomb..I don't expect him to change drastically but I think he might be even more miserable than before he said anything about Ding... maybe that is confusion, but he is just so blah... maybe its the changes in myself I am accepting and enjoying..
t
Me - 38 H-36 DD - 15 S- 19 Together -almost 18 years M - 16 The Bomb - May 24th 2008 Meeting with Michelle July 7, 2008 Status - I moved out Sept 2009
You know what though.. I am seeing now that even if the D happens.. I will be ok... I can still find the happiness I deserve.. it will be different but I think I will be ok...I am not seeing changes in him so much as myself...he is still the same as before the bomb..
t
Hi t,
I think this is because right now you are the one doing the real work and it is paying off for you. It must be somewhat liberating for you to feel that way.
I think the fact that your H is still wanting you to do things with him means he is very interested in keeping you close by. If he wanted you out of his life, he wouldn't be asking you to the gym.
Thanks - I needed that humor.
Here I sit...