Peaked out of tunnel but now back in?

[Creed]

Even though you don't want the divorce, didn't file the divorce, you still have responsibilities to/for yourself, and just one of them is the property division agreement.

Although you'll feel pain doing this, it is something that is necessary in the process. And it is something the court will get more and more adamant about you getting settled.

It was my xh that wanted the divorce, but he was also the one that dragged his feet about actually sitting down and coming up with one. I finally, over the phone, suggested my ideas, and he agreed with them. (earlier , when he had first left, he 'demanded' certain things, even if they have been in my family, not his) The MLCer can really seem confused and frustrated during these types of procedures. So, be prepared.

It is a necessary part of the process, and you should try to go into it as business like as you can. Try to keep your emotions controlled, and try to think how things can be distributed evenly in their value. Try to keep those things that are important to you, and not sweat over the little things that hold no real value to you.

Having to go through this may put a big burden on your WAS, and it may be an eye-opener to him too. It's probably easier to say 'I want a divorce', than to actually have to do the work to get the divorce proceedings going/completed. Let him do as much of the work as possible.

You can act 'as if', but I know it will be tearing you up inside. Memories really start to crop up when you're having to go through your personal items , and sort through them. Just remember , nothing lasts forever. You will be able to get through this, and you will learn many things about yourself.

As many have said before, sometimes the eyes don't start opening until what they 'wished' for actually starts happening, and then they might wonder about what they REALLY want in their lives. Some need divorce to find this out, some figure it out before the divorce is granted...and some never figure it out and go on searching.

At this point, you need to be concerned with your own wellbeing, and by doing that, it will help you feel 'as if'. After awhile, you won't even be just acting, you'll actually feel it. You will be able to go day to day, still loving and praying for your H/relationship, but also learning that you can survive on your own regardless of the outcome.