WAW is full steam ahead

[LosingSunshine]

Well I am feeling pretty down tonight. For once, not so much about the W or the sitch per se but how things are going to be post D, assuming a miracle doesn't happen. I went out with some friends tonight and had a great time but I took in the scene at the bar and no, no drinking for me tonight. That lifestyle is just so empty and transient, no happiness just pleasure. I've been there and don't want to go back. I feel to old for that scene yet I am only 34. Of course I won't as there are other activities etc out there just taking it in tonight.

So I am convinced of the alien now. My W went out for sushi tonight with her friends. I have tried since day 1 and got shot down every time. She was excited to share that with me tonight and I told her that I was glad she had a good time and continued with the dark thing. She got home, I got cleaned up and left for the night. She was a little curious what I was up to and I was very vague. When I got home, she was asleep on the couch and awoke but I just went to my room as if she wasn't there. No words exchanged which was nice.
I do find it interesting that she is acting like the mediation and D is no big deal. She just can't wait to get it over and done with. I hope I can remain dark this weekend as she says she'll be home mostly to see if I get a few positive signs but she's just acting like nothing is wrong. Confusing and I know I should not allow myself to get wrapped up in it and for the most part it doesn't bother me.

She also called me this afternoon while I was holding and I accidently picked it up. She was surprised I took a half day withou telling her and told me she was calling because she had dinner plans and wouldn't be home for dinner. Conveniently though she would be home right around the kids bedtime. So, she wants to spend more time with the kids and has done a lackluster job at best this week. The kids zer exited to see her when she does come home but they need there mommy just as much as daddy.

So the jury is still out about asking my wife if she is experimenting or curious about lesbianism. I have no clue whether to ask or what to say. Should I let things be? Big question and no answer.

Chris