Hi everyone, A few pieces of good news to report and I am excited!! but cautious Last night, I went with H to a dinner with his coworkers. I had never met them before because H kept me seperated from his other life at work. So in a way, this was a big night for me. A validating kind of thing to meet them and be accepted I guess. It went very well and fun and everyone was so friendly and H and I both had fun. When we got home, H said he was thinking of moving back home. He was seeing his doctor today. We just had lunch and the dr. says he avoids conflict by leaving. He needed to find another way of dealing with feelings of conflict confinement without leaving. I told him I had some "demands" as he called it and he said that was fine. So did the DR. I just have some requests or expectations before we get back together. I told H he should as well. I think this is something Michelle talks about- ask for what you want, right?? So I dont know if H was drunk or talking the truth. But today at lunch we talked about a list of wants each of us. Here are mine at least so far:
1. No other women- as in no contact with OW or any inappropriate R with any others 2. Sharing of house duties 3. Honesty- no internalizing- get it out in the open 4. We discuss and get past the A- I talked to him on Monday about this. Burst into tears as I realized I have known about it for a year, and still dont know much about what happened. I dont like it that OW knows about it and I dont. DOes this seem weird>? I told him maybe we could do it at counseling to avoid causing further damage. 5. go to MC again or a class or something
I really am so used to keeping track of DBing that I dont know what I want. Has anyone else made this kind of list? I really need some help putting what we went through and what we learned into wants and needs.
