THanks Lee - new goals coming up! I think I will put alot of thought into it this time. Pam, It is very true at least he is coming back. I guess impatience is coming out of me. We had a talk at my doing last night. I am a little tired of skirting the issues all the time. I had a little meltdown on Weds after the Reds game. We were walking back to the cars- drove seperate- kids were in a fight and left early (we have 3 girls and one commented on the other's complexion and all hell breaks loose!) anyway...I see H looking at a woman- thin, nice shape and I slap him as I normally would- teasingly. Then he peals out and races home leaving me in the dust. I was upset- he left me behind, he ogles other woman, who wants that in a man????? We talk later- I am having sick feelings, he is concerned and checks on me, calls me while driving to his sis' and then I ask him why he is looking at other woman because it makes me feel unappreciated. He said he wasnt looking at her but some prostitutes behind her in short skirts, shocked and wondering if they are really prostitutes. And as for racing home, dont I remember last time when I beat him home? Just trying to be funny. So, once again I overreact I guess and felt much better after talking about it. Last night we are watching TV and very comfortable and he says I better go. I say why dont we just finish the show and we go to bed??????????????????????????????????? He just smiles helplessly. Then he comes back and I am reading "Getting Back Together". He calls and he in the driveway but I answered feeling pretty ticked off. He comes in tired and I give him a quick communication method test He is visual. I am kinethetic as in gut feeling. He says he does not trust his gut - because maybe he didnt want to believe what it was telling him. ??? Of couse I am thinking it was in regard to having an A and that being a dumb idea. but no, it is in regards to me. His gut told him I had given up on the R, but he wouldnt believe it. Until of course something better came along- trampy OW. I told him I never gave up or I think he said "checked out", but that I shut down in response to other things he was acting out. He still doesnt understand why I "acted" like I did. He would tell you I didnt care about him, didnt like to talk to him and everything else imaginable. I think this is his way of justifying his recent behavior. Get a girlfriend is his answer?? Does his constant hanging on to old issues make it easier to deal with his infidelity?> I told him I was tired of trying to remember stuff from 5 years ago and was having a hard time with the most recent "infidelity" he had. I said I need to discuss it , it has been a year. He says its hard because it will be hard for me. More like harder for him to actually claim it and be accountable??? I jsut dont know. So , I followed along trying to explain my need to pull back because he was so demanding and critical. He was demanding and trying to get more attention from me by being needy. I was angry and wanted unconditional love - not all the testing and judging. I was tired all the time, really stressed out and barely holding it together with very little help from him with the house and chores and working full time. He turns this into my not wanting to be around him or care about him. Geez- I feel like it is a broken record and he has selective hearing-aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. He tried to understnad more but it is a safety net to blame me.
All in all I give it a B- for content!! any other thoughts? Should I write this down and have him read it often? Maybe I could post it here first!
but I answered feeling pretty ticked off. He comes in tired and I give him a quick communication method test 
He is visual. I am kinethetic as in gut feeling. He says he does not trust his gut - because maybe he didnt want to believe what it was telling him. ??? Of couse I am thinking it was in regard to having an A and that being a dumb idea. but no, it is in regards to me. His gut told him I had given up on the R, but he wouldnt believe it. Until of course something better came along- trampy OW. I told him I never gave up or I think he said "checked out", but that I shut down in response to other things he was acting out. He still doesnt understand why I "acted" like I did. He would tell you I didnt care about him, didnt like to talk to him and everything else imaginable. I think this is his way of justifying his recent behavior. Get a girlfriend is his answer??
Does his constant hanging on to old issues make it easier to deal with his infidelity?> I told him I was tired of trying to remember stuff from 5 years ago and was having a hard time with the most recent "infidelity" he had. I said I need to discuss it , it has been a year. He says its hard because it will be hard for me. More like harder for him to actually claim it and be accountable??? I jsut dont know. So , I followed along trying to explain my need to pull back because he was so demanding and critical. He was demanding and trying to get more attention from me by being needy. I was angry and wanted unconditional love - not all the testing and judging. I was tired all the time, really stressed out and barely holding it together with very little help from him with the house and chores and working full time. He turns this into my not wanting to be around him or care about him. Geez- I feel like it is a broken record and he has selective hearing-aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
