The point is to not lose yourself in pursuing an estranged spouse. You're worth more than that.
IMO. lodo
I agree with not losing yourself or the bargaining parts of the article, but I do think it is a little more negative than reality. She says"it is very rare that you can recapture what you had before a separation or divorce and go back to when things were better.". But I know several couples that the spouses have had affairs and separated and yet now are happily married again. I know of a couple in town that got divorced and then remarried. Yes, some spouses won't come back but some do and it is impossible to know which it is I think.
Also, that article says several times how it is impossible for the H to change and their ingrained patterns, etc. Well, I don't believe that. I believe that anyone can change, I know I've changed during this process, and I think that is very black/white thinking to think our WAS, or anyone for that matter, cannot change. I think the person writing that is maybe still a bit anger/bitter about their divorce; maybe you are too at this point? Karen
