Thanks Pam! I appreciate it. I am feeling pretty blah actually- another plateau I guess. H is still in limbo land- no ring, no moving back in. Now his thing is, he leaves and then comes back I dont want to complain too much because we have come so far I guess. But it feels like about half way. I agree with Mockers post- I am going to want to be together without wondering if he is going to have another A or leave me because I am sick or getting older and will his head get turned by the waitress at hooters??? Unconditional is the word she used and I used to think we had that. Pretty naive I guess, and I had something to do with the downward spiral.
I am really tired of the sitch... I want to get to a MC again or do Retrouvaille but I am afraid to ask and part of me doesnt have the energy. there is nothing worse than "making" H do something!! This weekend was OK- H was really down on Sunday and after I while I just avoided him. I asked him if he had a chemical imbalance and he siad maybe. ?? I did ask him a few questions last night. I tend to avoid OR talks more than necessary these days! I made myself ask him if he was going to see his C again and he said this week "hopefully" . I asked him about his sister he stays with and he had some realistic comments about her - she is into numerology and wanted to take it to the coorporate level and quit her job- and he thought this odd and actually told her so. His family doesnt treat eachother with honesty. I asked him lots about his going out on Friday- and he mentioned that just guys and answered my questions reassuringly. I am just trying to be more direct and a better person as well. Maybe I need new goals again.
Shay