What I'm hearing is that your H is no longer making excuses for his past and present behavior and may actually be taking some responsibilty for not only his actions, but for his intent.
Hi Shay - That sounds like a good talk. Some slow and steady progress. You are doing great at being patient. have a great w/e! Have an apple-tini for me .
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Jeanine, I think he may be taking a little bit of accountability. i am glad you said that - I was starting to wonder and hope I was seeing that as well. Mockers, I am appletini starved at this point- It has been too long! Draft beer at the church festival just doesnt cut it! Pam, Thanks for your support too- weekend went very quick- I think that is good. We are getting a little more comfortable with eachother but I want to make sure it is in a good way- no the old way of getting caught up in our own anger and taking advantage of eachother. A couple of things to note, that I would love some feedback on. I drank a bit at the church festival and joked a bit with H and asked him in a non threatening way what the OW wanted when she called at midnight on his cell phone last year. He said she was either pissed or wanted something from him. Like what? He says she needed to see him. I asked if he really then got a break from her last year and he said yes. (sickening needy slut). (sorry but that felt good to write!) I told him last year I looked for her at a race on T-giving and could not find her- ran without a bra because I jumped out of bed and threw my stuff together to get down there. I was going to tell her to keep her legs together! H smiled. I asked how that would have gone over? He said probably not so well but hey. As in do what you have to do. I told him that it wasnt in the cards, wasnt meant to be since I couldnt find OW. H stayed at his sister's house, said he didnt want to be nervous over the weekend. Too much at once- I understood and told him that it was OK. He came next morning and we left - good moods except the kids were high maintenance! They were more concerned about missing their friends. They do not know how great it is to have a house on the lake and a boat and all that! I would have been thrilled as a kid and still am. Other things to note: H lost his temper with D13- told her she was lazy- I hate when he does that. Then I let them work it out H stayed last night- he asked if he could and I said do you want to ? Kind of yes kind of no he says. He says I may be sick of him after the weekend. He didnt give me a chance to speak but kept walking. I asked if he was sick of me and he said no, with a kind of surprised look. So he stayed and we talked and laughed a little in spite of this before I passed out from the weekend activity. That is about all- I am still trying to figure out how to wade through the muck still between us. Maybe one day.... hope everyone had a good weekend or a great one! Shay
Shay, I know this limbo thing you've been living for a while is really taking its toll on you, but you actually sound really strong and good. It sounds like you are worrying less.
And I think it's so awesome that you're doing the half-marathon. Small world...I grew up in Oxford (home of Miami University) and went there for my undergraduate degree. There's not much more beautiful than the MU campus in the fall when the leaves change.
Good luck on your run and hang in there with H. I can tell he's trying. It's just taking him a LOONNGG time to come out of this MLC.
Yashie! I cant believe you grew up in Oxford! I went to Miami (of Ohio) too, undergrad in '85- met H there my senior year in fact. I love that town- go up there occasionally for swim meets or to go out. H and I, and D13 went out to dinner there last month to First Run for dinner. Looks like they have bands there too. I ran through Oxford last month while D13 did her swim meet- for an hour all over campus and really felt great and peaceful to be there and seeing all the old haunts. This is partly the reason to do this run just to relive the good times there My house in Cincinnati is actually only about 25 minutes from Oxford. Anyway - small world! Ever get back?
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They do not know how great it is to have a house on the lake and a boat and all that! I would have been thrilled as a kid and still am. 
