Hey Shiny! Thanks for the feedback- journaling is needed- maybe I will write a book some day as my new career. hmmmm. H and I had a OR talk the other night. We talked about his feelings and I didnt interrupt but listened!! 180 for me. H needs to figure out how to get happy he said. The A was a chemical reaction in his brain he says and "loves great lie" he says referring to that initial feeling you get when you meet someone and they can do no wrong. It was hard to end it because he had something with her that we didnt have and I guess that was conversation and support which we are working on more. He said that was "history" anyway as in the OW which I keep thinking of and gives me comfort. He said she would call at midnight on his cell wanting to see him etc. His C told him I was a safety net for him but he disagreed. More like a more difficult R to deal with. H has never trusted me or anyone I think. Reads into everything and said he assumed I would always leave him. He said he was trying something different this week obviously, since he had been staying. He still felt anxious at times and liked better when he didnt stay for a while and then loved when he eventually does. but this is no way to live he says. He said maybe we could talk this weekend. He said sometimes he thinks the A was a huge mistake and sometimes just a little one! Depending and talked about coworkers cheating while in Thailand, not condoning it it says, but it is more common than you think. Getting some perspective? Or maybe justifying so he can live with it? I told him he seemed like an alien back then and he said " I am still not right" still looks at other women but guesses guys just do that maybe. Yuck! Last night I asked him is he survived our discussion and said yes fine. When he asked me, I told him I liked hearing that it was "history" and he repeated that it was. H is getting a new job! away from OW even more! May be less stressed out as its a research job more for a new jet. and a promontion- H measures himself through career I think. Anyway, this is long and full of rambling but another OR discussion that went ok right? Shay
and I guess that was conversation and support which we are working on more. He said that was "history" anyway as in the OW which I keep thinking of and gives me comfort. He said she would call at midnight on his cell wanting to see him etc. His C told him I was a safety net for him but he disagreed. More like a more difficult R to deal with. H has never trusted me or anyone I think. Reads into everything and said he assumed I would always leave him. He said he was trying something different this week obviously, since he had been staying. He still felt anxious at times and liked better when he didnt stay for a while and then loved when he eventually does. but this is no way to live he says. He said maybe we could talk this weekend. He said sometimes he thinks the A was a huge mistake and sometimes just a little one! Depending and talked about coworkers cheating while in Thailand, not condoning it it says, but it is more common than you think. Getting some perspective? Or maybe justifying so he can live with it? I told him he seemed like an alien back then and he said " I am still not right" still looks at other women but guesses guys just do that maybe. Yuck!
